Marriage Counseling in Troy, MI
"The most basic question in love is, are you there for me, will you be there for me?" - Sue Johnson
We live in a time where it seems that separation is the only feasible option for marital dissatisfaction, that marriage counseling isn't even an option. Entertainment outlets, web banners, and even billboards communicate to us on a regular basis that if you are not happy in your relationship, avoid dealing with it. One website claims that "life is short, have an affair." Their message is clear; they want to be your outlet to start something new. They want you to invest in something else. The day you were married you probably sent a clear message of your intentions too. You made vows in front of witnesses that were very specific. You were all in.
But a lot has happened since then. Now you and your spouse constantly fight about intimacy, finances, parenting or any number of other things. The hurt is deep, the damage is great; the differences have become unbearable.
What if you could turn things around and find ways to work through these problems? What if you and your spouse could carve out space in your busy lives to work on the relationship and rediscover what it was that helped you both to fall in love in the first place?
Here is where Everyday Process Counseling Center comes in. We'll work with whatever level of motivation you and your spouse can bring to the table and walk with you both towards a new place.
We'll use assessments to help identify problem areas, emotion-focused methods to help build empathy, and weekly therapy sessions to foster dialogue, tease out the hurt and get the two of you talking and working towards your desired goals for your relationship.
Your relationship may be able to get to a better place; we want to be the skilled helpers to walk alongside you as you get there.
Could we benefit from marriage counseling?
Below we have listed some common traits of marriages in need of guidance. If any of the statements below resonate with you, it does not mean your marriage is doomed. If you find a number of them apply to your situation, it may be time to seek guidance from a counselor.
It seems like we are constantly arguing over the same things
Maybe you are arguing daily about spending, affection, intimacy, traveling for work or perhaps it is a weekly spat over cleaning the bathroom. Small disagreements that turn into shouting matches can be a sign of larger issues that need resolution. A trained marriage counselor can help not only identify the underlying issues but also help lay the groundwork for working through them and provide you both with new tools for the future.
It feels like I am living a separate life from my spouse
It is healthy for couples to have different interests, hobbies, and friends. On the other hand, if it feels like your partner is increasingly distant and the two of you are settling into two separate lives, this could be a sign of a growing divide in the marriage. A counselor can help both sides understand what the other is missing and get you back on the path back to a healthy marriage.
I have contemplated seeking intimacy outside of my marriage
It is not impossible for a marriage to recover from one partner's infidelity, but you never know how this decision will play out. I have yet to see a client say, “I’m glad I stepped outside of my marriage to have sex with that person.” Instead of feelings of triumph or success for having an affair, what I see in my office is shame, regret, and damaged trust. Sadly, there are times when that trust is so damaged that one spouse chooses to leave.
The preferred method when entertaining straying thoughts is dealing with the impulse to have an affair before it can take place. If you find yourself fantasizing about being intimate with someone outside of your marriage, it is not too late to get help. Here are two immediate options among others. First, talk to your partner about the unrest you are experiencing with the idea of seeing a counselor together. The second option could be you contact us for individual counseling to help you work through this decision with options that can later turn into couples work if you desire. The big idea here is, get the idea outside of your internal hall of justification. Recognize your thoughts as a reason to seek help.
My partner has started to feel more like an enemy or just a roommate
At the start of your marriage, you and your spouse were a team, and there was a tight bond. Somewhere along the way, the sense of oneness began to slip, or maybe it feels gone completely. Perhaps your relationship is like a boat untied from a dock. There wasn’t necessarily a violent storm that ripped the boat away; the current just slowly drifted the boat downstream. If you find yourself feeling detached from your spouse and there isn’t really a big reason that you can cite, don’t wait for it to fix itself. The business of life or the “current” if we keep our boat metaphor going rarely brings a couple back to each other unless they make a conscious effort to focus on their marriage. Let us help you get securely attached again.
My partner has started to withhold affection as punishment
If one or both spouses in a marriage choose to cut off the other when they are upset with them, it can create a toxic environment. Minimal responses, passive aggression, or giving a partner the 'silent treatment' or even refusing to show them respect can be indicators of unfinished business from the past that can create continued distress and short circuit a couples goals of being connected in the marriage. We want to help you turn this around.
I am afraid to talk to my partner
Open and honest communication is the foundation of any healthy marriage. When that connection starts to break down both partners can feel as though they are unwanted. Finding yourself unable to talk to your partner or uneasy about even trying does not mean you cannot repair your marriage. An experienced marriage counselor can help you both find ways to rebuild the link that brought you together in the first place. A marriage counselor has tools to help you both, rebuild emotional safety in the marriage, learn how to address what is causing fear, and enhance communication so that you share your hearts with each other again.
Do you offer marriage counseling services near me?
Everyday Process Counseling Center offers therapy to married couples in and around Troy, MI. We can help you regain control of your relationship and rebuild your marriage. Our offices are conveniently located just off of i75 at the big beaver exit.
Reach out to us today to schedule an appointment for your first session.